Page 35 - October November2020 Magwanani

Treating your little ones as individuals

Do you treat all your children equally? Perhaps not. One train of thought is that you should handle
each of your children differently. Relating to each young one as an individual helps to make that
child a unique person. It is also a way of appreciating their special characteristics.

Parents learn how to become mothers and fathers to their Factors impacting a child’s development are family size
rst child, which can, at least for a while, also be their only and birth order. An only child will differ developmentally
child. Consequently, their relationship with that rst child from one brought up in a large family. Equally, older
will be unlike their relationship with any subsequent children will differ from their younger siblings, and so on.
children. Parents develop as well as learn alongside their Because of these two factors, no two children will
children; parents’ actions, conversational style, and also experience their family in the same way.
their displays of emotion will therefore evolve with every
new little one. Birth order can also impact the manner in which you relate
to your children, and the way they will respond to you.
Their parenting style will develop as parents gain more Such impacts their development as individuals. For
experience raising their children, focusing on the little example, a rst born might feel neglected after the birth of
ones’ own needs and styles. Older children will need to be a second child. A result is that some rstborns start to act
treated differently. This also applies, for instance, to highly more baby-like to gain similar attention as their younger
strung children requiring a different approach from that for sibling.
easy-going youngsters. Equally rules, chores,
expectations, rewards, responsibilities, as well as Parents’ temperament can also impact the development
punishment will differ, while parents strive to remain fair to of each child. Parents who are quick to grow angry could
all their children. nd themselves raising an angry, disorganised, and
impulsive child, lacking in condence and a feeling of self-
A parent’s behaviour towards a child is determined by the worth Conversely, easygoing parents will have a different
age as well as the developmental stage of the offspring. impact on their children.
Even the method of showing affection will gradually
change over time. An implication is that older children One should also not forget about the parenting roles, be it
might perceive that their younger siblings are getting more a mother and father, a single mom, or a single dad, or two
affection. However, parents should treat their children in moms and two dads. Each child will relate differently to
line with the child’s developmental needs and age. each of their parents, but also differently towards each of

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